my thoughts in bare

Some people say that our life revolves around in three different aspects, family, career and love. They say that we can’t get everything we want at the same time. Sometimes, we have the best of family relationship or career but we don’t have the best in love life, or vice versa. Family “In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.” – Marge Kennedy We have the greatest and unconditional love from our family. No matter what happen and how many times we stumble and fall, at the end of the day they would still accept and love us. Though many times we come across problems, we know that it would just sweep away after some time and we’ll be back again from the way we used to be with them. They are easy to plea...

--> Sometimes, no matter how we try to hold on to something, no matter what we do, it’s just not enough to make them stay longer. I thought I can do it. I thought I can keep it longer. I thought I can endure the pain but I’m wrong. Today, I realize I finally came to the end of my limitations. I still want it but I can’t do it anymore, not when I know that I am hurting inside and everything is just an illusion. Now my mind is clear, the truth is right here on my face. I knew it all along, it’s just hard to admit and accept it. I don’t want to live in lies anymore. I’m done believing in something which is too far from what I really want to happen. I’m tired from the deception I have created for myself. I know where I’ll be happy, but it’s hard to hold on that happiness when it’s also the one that causes my sadness. Enough is enough.

I have told myself that if ever this would come, I’ll be ready but I’m wrong. Now, I feel scared and skeptical how will I do it? Will I be ready that enough to face and shoulder a much bigger responsibility?.. I truly understand my brother why he came up with his decisions and I do want nothing but happiness in him just like he wished for. I know he would never leave us, just like he said he would still help us but I also know that it wouldn’t be enough and be the same just like it used to which means a bigger responsibility on my part. For the past few weeks, my parents are being emotional especially “papa”. They’re having a hard time to accept everything, feeling more upset and frustrated of what’s going on and what would happen next. Sometimes, I feel a little irritated and upset with the constant hearing of complains from them. If only, I could just turn my back on them and just focused in my own needs but I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. I don’t have the courage to do it or more to say...

Career change. I have mentioned this on my previous post. Now that what I want is right here on my palm, I don’t know how will I start. I know exactly what should I do but I don’t have the courage yet to do it. I only have two weeks more to stay and do everything I have to do here at my present work. I know I have to file my resignation immediately because of short span of time I only have now but I feel a little embarrass, maybe because I have such a great respect to my immediate supervisors and boss, they’ve been so very kind to me in my whole stay here. They may feel betrayed with my actions, because of my sudden decision to leave and to think that just a few weeks ago, he told me to please stay for a little while and not to leave him abruptly. I don’t have a choice, everything that happened is beyond my control. I never imagined that it would be so fast like this. If only I could stay longer more, I will.. just like I said they’ve been so very kind to me and I have the best of c...