another nonsense..

There are two kinds of person that exists here in the world, the first one are those who fooled people and the other one are those who are fooled. I know that, just as good and bad guys exist. But then, I just can't believe that those people, the first one I mentioned, really do exist. I just can't believe how come it seems so easy for them to hurt people, to let someone hope for something that will never happen, to believe and trust them, then afterwards leaving that someone wounded. Don't they have conscience?.. Don't they know how to play fair?..

I don't want to think that he's that kind of person. I don't want to believe it. I still want to believe that there is good in him, that it's not his intention, that he really cares for me but then it's just not enough.. that's why things didn't happen the way I wanted..

Sometimes, I wish I can make him feel how much pain he caused me. That I can make revenge for what he did, to get even with him.. but then, if that's the case, would it change a thing even a little?.. Would it ease the pain?.. I think not.. And I don't think I can do it to him..

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if not me, then who would be?..

An excerpt from the book Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen: Halley and Scarlett have been best friends ever since they met. Halley has always been the quiet one; Scarlett braver and more outgoing. Halley has always turned to Scarlett when things get rough, and Scarlett has always known just what to do. It’s the perfect set up. But everything changes at the beginning of their junior year. Scarlett’s boyfriend is killed in a motorcycle accident; then she finds out that she is carrying his baby. For the first time ever, Scarlett really needs Halley. Now Halley has to how to be strong for Scarlett. It won’t be easy, but Halley knows that she can’t let Scarlett down. Because a true friend is a promise you keep forever. ~~ This is definitely not a book review. I think I’m not good at it. I just realized while reading and after finishing it, that I can relate to the character of Halley. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t have a best friend to be called. There’s no kid in my h...

Trauma has its name..

Some of us aren't lucky enough to have a glorious childhood or teenage days. Some of us have to dealt with terrible loneliness, crying their selves to sleep, sitting alone in the park, constant yelling at home, much worst seeing their parents hurt each other both verbally/emotionally and physically. As I grow up, my sense of insecurity also grew up rapidly whenever I saw some kid having bonding moment with their families or having a good laugh over something or just petty things. Asking myself every time, will it get better? But I know, things won't change in a snap of your finger or a tick of a magic wand just like in some fairy tales we've watched when we were a kid. I grew up believing, happiness will come to me if I work hard for myself, for them to provide whatever they need. Maybe, just maybe things will change. Physical wounds heals easy, but emotional pains stays within you. It is forcefully stored inside, keeping it from others to see, it will either make you or b...

FOR YOU..

For the independent ones, who doesn't let their family know their worries because they don't like them to be worried about anything. For the breadwinners, who many times have nothing left on their pockets but still have to find way just to provide. For the strong ones, who choose to stand still because they know they don't have anyone as back-up but themselves. For those who choose to go on, because they know giving up is not option, because what will happen to everyone they care if it's just them who holds it together. For those who sets aside their happiness because there is more important than that. This is for YOU. Though many times, things happens not as much what you want or planned for, one day, time will come, everything will take its place accordingly. One day, you will no longer worry for tomorrow. One day, you no longer stare at your monthly expenses or your monthly bills, thinking where you will get it. One day, you will no longer feel guilty whenever you b...

my thoughts in bare

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