another nonsense..

There are two kinds of person that exists here in the world, the first one are those who fooled people and the other one are those who are fooled. I know that, just as good and bad guys exist. But then, I just can't believe that those people, the first one I mentioned, really do exist. I just can't believe how come it seems so easy for them to hurt people, to let someone hope for something that will never happen, to believe and trust them, then afterwards leaving that someone wounded. Don't they have conscience?.. Don't they know how to play fair?..

I don't want to think that he's that kind of person. I don't want to believe it. I still want to believe that there is good in him, that it's not his intention, that he really cares for me but then it's just not enough.. that's why things didn't happen the way I wanted..

Sometimes, I wish I can make him feel how much pain he caused me. That I can make revenge for what he did, to get even with him.. but then, if that's the case, would it change a thing even a little?.. Would it ease the pain?.. I think not.. And I don't think I can do it to him..

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Random Thoughts

In general, society expects you to act in a way what is acceptable to most of the people. No matter how hard you try to ignore the noise around you, sometimes it tends to find its way to affect how you think, you decide, you believe, and your overall values. It's been a long time, it's like I'm fighting a battle of my own. I'm trying to fight between trying to stick with what's making me happy or just live a life where it's less complicated. I'm in a phase where I'm trying to figure out what's best to do with my life. I really believe that I should not be living my life for the sake of other people. But, what if it means fighting for the rest of your life? All these dilemma that's running in my head for a while now leads me to think or do things I think is not right. Recently, I've made a terrible mistake just because once again I'm on a battle of my own, that doing so this is more acceptable than what I am on. Because traditionally, i...

T I R E D

Have you ever felt so tired of everything that's happening around you? Because that's how I'm feeling lately.. at work, home, everything.. Have you ever felt like you're on the verge of crying any time or any moment? Because that's exactly me lately.. found myself crying at any time of the day. At work, I no longer push myself to do the things I used to do passionately. I'm tired.. Recently, I feel like I can't do it anymore.. like I am not capable of doing things.. like I am just doing what's being told and not beyond that anymore. I have lots of delays in all my tasks. I'm not sure anymore if it's because of my tasks are too overwhelming and can't do it within my bandwidth, or I am just tired, or I am just too lazy. At home, which I'm not sure if I can call it "home".. I'm too tired and lazy to clean my room. I feel like I wanna go somewhere else, away from home, away from them. I wanted to escape away from here. 🥺

my angels

These children makes my day free from all my worries, stress, pains and heartaches. I can almost forget whatever situation I’m into just being with them, my so-called stress-reliever. :) Tita loves you all so much!.. Promise I’ll always be here for you all. :)

my thoughts in bare

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