my thoughts in bare

There is no actual time table on when you can move forward from whatever kind of emotional pain. The wound from a fractured friendship may also fall under this things that never leave you. I have chosen to simply avoid them for a long time because it feels like it's easier to forget the pain and more comforting that time than seeing them everyday as if nothing happened. As time passed by, I have asked myself, "I should be better by now, right?" but then I always goes back to that same feeling of hurt. I came to the point of thinking that I would never ever get over from it and maybe I already lost the friendship we had. It took me years before finally realizing that I am really over it, that I really missed them, that I can't just throw away our years of friendship just like that only because of that jerk, and that I can't let him win of this battle by loosing my friends in return. I am not proud of the wasted time I have let passed by, but maybe I just neede...

If only I could do it in just snap or just after reading any article about letting go of resentment, then I'll be very, very happy.. really! No one wants to be a slave of any negative feelings towards other. Our emotions is something beyond our control. We can't force ourselves into something we're not ready yet or shall I say into something our hearts doesn't want to. No matter what other people say or how much we knew how to, we'll never be able to overcome it until ourselves do it willingly on it's own. As the old saying goes, " time heals all wounds." So I guess, I'd rely on that.. I don't know if what I'm doing is right but all I know is, this is what I need right now. I just know that I need to distance myself, so I won't be stressing myself everytime we meet, so I don't need to pretend like nothing is wrong.. I'm so done in pretending.. I need some peace of mind for a while.. though, I don't know how long would i...

To my ex-friend, We've been friends since college. There was never a dull moment with you, you were fun to be with. We understand each other so well even before we speak our mind. You were there when I had my major heartbreak back then. You didn't offer any advice instead you let me enjoy and have fun even for a while, we went to movie dates together, we even went to amusement park and enjoy the whole day just like kids do.  You were always there to calm me down every time I cried because of some family matters, you know how it feels because you're also a breadwinner like me. We were that close, even before we started hanging out again with our other barkadas from college. You got your own house to the same subdivision where I got mine, making our families connected like us. We started hanging out more often when you started dating that guy. It's your way of balancing your time to all of us. Eventually, we became friends with your boyfriend. We had a lot of bonding ...

You know when someone's been truly hurt if they decide to ignore someone no matter how that person tried reaching out to you. Friendship or any other kind of relationship is like a glass that's been broken, no matter how much you wanted to fix the crack it will never be the same again. All this anger I felt was bottled up inside me. I know the fact that if you hold on to much to anger it's not the person you are giving burden to, but yourself, you don't feel any peace at all. Maybe I wasn't angry at all with my friend, I am angry of what happened, I am angry because she choose to love that jerk who is responsible why our friendship has been broken, I am angry because we have to loose something great, I am angry because they moved on and that jerk was acting like he did nothing wrong, enjoying every second of his life with my friend, smiling like saying right in my face that he wins. I am angry because I was left behind with all this anger and pain. I miss m...

Since the day I learned making friends, I really believed that I am very good in treasuring and giving importance to friendship. Everyone who knew me how emotional I get when it comes to my friends. Until today, I still have communications from my elementary friends, high school friends, college friends and even those who I worked with from my previous jobs. I always enjoyed chatting with them and spending time with them once in a while especially now that we’re all grown up and busy with our own lives. But what happens next when too much conflict happened between you and some of your friends and you’re all fed up? We’ve tried to fix things but for some reason we’re not like the same one just like before. Now it seems like we’re drifting apart from each other. Although, there are times we missed the old days, yet we can’t bring it back the way it used to be and we’re now like different persons who can’t stand each other’s company. That’s the sad part of it. Although they don’...

Last April 17, 2012, I happened to read the message from the Facebook application GOD WANTS YOU TO KNOW .. " On this day, God wants you to know that difficult people are very important, - they teach you tolerance and acceptance. If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept of other perspectives on life. " What if I can no longer tolerate someone's attitude and I can't stand being with that person anymore? That someone happens to be the person who used to be my friend. Does that mean I failed to the test of God? I admit, I used to enjoy her company and that we have lots of happy moments together before. But those were the times that I am still patient with all her mood swings, childish ways and being closed-mindedness. Those were the times that I can still tolerate everything about her that makes me annoyed. ...