Wish I could let go just like that..

If only I could do it in just snap or just after reading any article about letting go of resentment, then I'll be very, very happy.. really!

No one wants to be a slave of any negative feelings towards other. Our emotions is something beyond our control. We can't force ourselves into something we're not ready yet or shall I say into something our hearts doesn't want to. No matter what other people say or how much we knew how to, we'll never be able to overcome it until ourselves do it willingly on it's own. As the old saying goes, "time heals all wounds." So I guess, I'd rely on that..

I don't know if what I'm doing is right but all I know is, this is what I need right now. I just know that I need to distance myself, so I won't be stressing myself everytime we meet, so I don't need to pretend like nothing is wrong.. I'm so done in pretending.. I need some peace of mind for a while.. though, I don't know how long would it take. I just hope time will come I'll be ready to face them again with all my heart.

I don't know either if what I thought or believed is right. I'm not sure if everything I'm doing now is worth it, or will it fix everything..

I know it's possible that it maybe too late to save what we had before, the time I am free from all these resentments I am feeling now. Maybe now I am blaming certain people why it happened and why I am feeling this.. but maybe someday I'll be blaming myself for letting it happen and for giving up the friendship we had. It's what I have to risk.

Maybe I care too much that's why I got hurt this much... Maybe I should try harder but I chose to give up and cut you out of my life. I'm sorry... :(

Comments

it's a girly thing!.. :D

When I was still working in Let's Face It, I remember I usually have my weekly manicure and pedicure for free. It's because, the training center for the salon's attendants is just located in the 2nd floor of the office. Manicure and pedicure are just one of the few benefits of pampering yourself for free as an employee there. Nowadays, I usually had my pedicure done once or twice a month in a parlor nearby our home, this time I have to pay for it. But, I don't usually have my hands to be manicured, I just don't think it's practical because the nail polish on my hands gets damaged easily. So, what I did is just have my nails in my hands manicured all by myself, that way I won't have to pay over and over again if ever I needed a nail polish retouch.Yes, I can do it. :) Today, my nails are colored by pink lilac nail polish. So love it !.. :D I am not comfortable and confident enough about having a nail polish in my hands before especially those ...

lessons learned..

- not all we want is worth the risk - sometimes, we need to push ourselves too much to realize our limits - never let someone hurt you twice, if he had done it once, it's bound to happen again.. Once is enough to learn.. - giving someone a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again because no matter what he do to you you'll just accept him over and over again.. - it's not wrong to love yourself more - there's no such thing as give and take in a relationship, it's more on give, give and give..until your heart voluntarily quits. - it's true that a bastard is always a bastard! - reality is, it's not always like a fairytale. sometimes, it's just an illusion created for you to believe that there is a happy ending. - don't refuse to see the signs when it's already showing you that everything is going on the wrong direction - and most of all, somebody may leave you but true friends never will..

if not me, then who would be?..

An excerpt from the book Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen: Halley and Scarlett have been best friends ever since they met. Halley has always been the quiet one; Scarlett braver and more outgoing. Halley has always turned to Scarlett when things get rough, and Scarlett has always known just what to do. It’s the perfect set up. But everything changes at the beginning of their junior year. Scarlett’s boyfriend is killed in a motorcycle accident; then she finds out that she is carrying his baby. For the first time ever, Scarlett really needs Halley. Now Halley has to how to be strong for Scarlett. It won’t be easy, but Halley knows that she can’t let Scarlett down. Because a true friend is a promise you keep forever. ~~ This is definitely not a book review. I think I’m not good at it. I just realized while reading and after finishing it, that I can relate to the character of Halley. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t have a best friend to be called. There’s no kid in my h...

my thoughts in bare

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