if not me, then who would be?..

An excerpt from the book Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen:

Halley and Scarlett have been best friends ever since they met. Halley has always been the quiet one; Scarlett braver and more outgoing. Halley has always turned to Scarlett when things get rough, and Scarlett has always known just what to do. It’s the perfect set up. But everything changes at the beginning of their junior year. Scarlett’s boyfriend is killed in a motorcycle accident; then she finds out that she is carrying his baby. For the first time ever, Scarlett really needs Halley. Now Halley has to how to be strong for Scarlett. It won’t be easy, but Halley knows that she can’t let Scarlett down. Because a true friend is a promise you keep forever.

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This is definitely not a book review. I think I’m not good at it. I just realized while reading and after finishing it, that I can relate to the character of Halley.

I remember when I was a kid, I don’t have a best friend to be called. There’s no kid in my hometown that is in my same age. I only have a sister, she’s two years older than me. The characters of Someone Like You is like us, me as Halley the quiet one; my sister as Scarlett the more outgoing person. I have some friends in school but not in our hometown. So, since childhood I always depend on my sister. Because I don’t have friends of my own, I’m always with her wherever she goes, although sometimes I know it’s kind of irritating on her part. I always look up to her, knowing that she’s my older sister, I feel safe and comfortable when I’m with her.

Things changed when we grew up. Just like Scarlett in the story, my sister had an unexpected pregnancy when she was 23 yrs. old, things didn’t work out well between her and her boyfriend, but I wished he also died years ago just like the boyfriend of Scarlett in the story. I’m the first one in the family who got to know her situation that time. I remember, she’s so depressed and crying when she told me about that. I don’t know what to do because I know my mom would get angry and disappointed as well. I’m not sure what would happen next, but one thing I am sure of that time, I have to be strong for her, I have to support her whatever happens even if it means that my mom would also get angry with me. That chapter of her life had caused so much drama in our family, you may imagine some stories from soap opera in TV if you want. Since then, I promised myself that I would do everything to support her and her child, help them in any ways, protect them to whoever who’ll try to hurt them and from those who had hurt them, and stand by them no matter what happen.

Our life is quite okay now, it’s not in a rough roads anymore. The child grew up with us, she’s such a blessing and she brings joy to the family. As she grew up, I’m not only her tita but also somewhat a parent to her. People would sometimes tell me that it’s the other way around between me and my sister. That because she’s the older one; and I’m younger than her, I should be the one who would always look up and depend on her just like when we are young. My older brother once asked me why does I keep on helping her until now, that maybe because of that I’m also spoiling and teaching her to depend on me and I’m not doing any good for her to stand by herself. This is what I keep on telling my brother and my parents, “if I will stop helping her, supporting her and understanding her; then who would be? No one would understand her, what she been through and what more will she be going through, the way I do.” This is not only her life, it’s her daughter’s life and also my life.