Skip to main content

Trauma has its name..

Some of us aren't lucky enough to have a glorious childhood or teenage days. Some of us have to dealt with terrible loneliness, crying their selves to sleep, sitting alone in the park, constant yelling at home, much worst seeing their parents hurt each other both verbally/emotionally and physically.

As I grow up, my sense of insecurity also grew up rapidly whenever I saw some kid having bonding moment with their families or having a good laugh over something or just petty things. Asking myself every time, will it get better? But I know, things won't change in a snap of your finger or a tick of a magic wand just like in some fairy tales we've watched when we were a kid. I grew up believing, happiness will come to me if I work hard for myself, for them to provide whatever they need. Maybe, just maybe things will change. 

Physical wounds heals easy, but emotional pains stays within you. It is forcefully stored inside, keeping it from others to see, it will either make you or break you. Sometimes, for trying so hard to keep the pain away, it makes you believe that it's gone, but sometimes pain gets it's way to escape and get out of your chest. Sometimes, something triggers you to feel sad, sometimes you don't understand why. 

Forgetting is hard but realizing that you won't have another chance of being a child to experience a happy life we deserved and things will not change ever is much more harder than it is. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Random Thoughts

In general, society expects you to act in a way what is acceptable to most of the people. No matter how hard you try to ignore the noise around you, sometimes it tends to find its way to affect how you think, you decide, you believe, and your overall values.  It's been a long time, it's like I'm fighting a battle of my own. I'm trying to fight between trying to stick with what's making me happy or just live a life where it's less complicated.  I'm in a phase where I'm trying to figure out what's best to do with my life. I really believe that I should not be living my life for the sake of other people. But, what if it means fighting for the rest of your life? All these dilemma that's running in my head for a while now leads me to think or do things I think is not right.  Recently, I've made a terrible mistake just because once again I'm on a battle of my own, that doing so this is more acceptable than what I am on. Because traditionally, i...

my angels

These children makes my day free from all my worries, stress, pains and heartaches. I can almost forget whatever situation I’m into just being with them, my so-called stress-reliever. :) Tita loves you all so much!.. Promise I’ll always be here for you all. :)

T I R E D

Have you ever felt so tired of everything that's happening around you? Because that's how I'm feeling lately.. at work, home, everything.. Have you ever felt like you're on the verge of crying any time or any moment? Because that's exactly me lately.. found myself crying at any time of the day.  At work, I no longer push myself to do the things I used to do passionately. I'm tired.. Recently, I feel like I can't do it anymore.. like I am not capable of doing things.. like I am just doing what's being told and not beyond that anymore. I have lots of delays in all my tasks. I'm not sure anymore if it's because of my tasks are too overwhelming and can't do it within my bandwidth, or I am just tired, or I am just too lazy.  At home, which I'm not sure if I can call it "home".. I'm too tired and lazy to clean my room. I feel like I wanna go somewhere else, away from home, away from them. I wanted to escape away from here. 🥺