Skip to main content

Trauma has its name..

Some of us aren't lucky enough to have a glorious childhood or teenage days. Some of us have to dealt with terrible loneliness, crying their selves to sleep, sitting alone in the park, constant yelling at home, much worst seeing their parents hurt each other both verbally/emotionally and physically.

As I grow up, my sense of insecurity also grew up rapidly whenever I saw some kid having bonding moment with their families or having a good laugh over something or just petty things. Asking myself every time, will it get better? But I know, things won't change in a snap of your finger or a tick of a magic wand just like in some fairy tales we've watched when we were a kid. I grew up believing, happiness will come to me if I work hard for myself, for them to provide whatever they need. Maybe, just maybe things will change. 

Physical wounds heals easy, but emotional pains stays within you. It is forcefully stored inside, keeping it from others to see, it will either make you or break you. Sometimes, for trying so hard to keep the pain away, it makes you believe that it's gone, but sometimes pain gets it's way to escape and get out of your chest. Sometimes, something triggers you to feel sad, sometimes you don't understand why. 

Forgetting is hard but realizing that you won't have another chance of being a child to experience a happy life we deserved and things will not change ever is much more harder than it is. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

if not me, then who would be?..

An excerpt from the book Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen: Halley and Scarlett have been best friends ever since they met. Halley has always been the quiet one; Scarlett braver and more outgoing. Halley has always turned to Scarlett when things get rough, and Scarlett has always known just what to do. It’s the perfect set up. But everything changes at the beginning of their junior year. Scarlett’s boyfriend is killed in a motorcycle accident; then she finds out that she is carrying his baby. For the first time ever, Scarlett really needs Halley. Now Halley has to how to be strong for Scarlett. It won’t be easy, but Halley knows that she can’t let Scarlett down. Because a true friend is a promise you keep forever. ~~ This is definitely not a book review. I think I’m not good at it. I just realized while reading and after finishing it, that I can relate to the character of Halley. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t have a best friend to be called. There’s no kid in my h

Things about Book Lovers

Some people never understand my fondness on reading a book. I even found myself keeping secret when buying books, making sure the price tag was neatly removed and receipts were put in trash.. it's because I had these feeling some people may not understand me spending money on books when there are more other things to be priorized or more valuable than it. Here are the list I think only book lovers would understand.. We know the uniqueness of a book. We know it will always be different than any other movie adaptation. It's not that we want to criticize those movies, we know that they had put a lot of work for that. They would never understand our disappointment when our expectations wasn't met after watching the movie knowing we had read the book. Having a hard copy.  Nowadays, reading any books you want is so easy thru ebooks, ipad, kindle, etc. I admit, I've been a fan of ebooks for some time, as my budget limits me from buying books most of the time.

bitter or what ?!..

Why does people can’t just be happy with other people’s achievements? Why they have to compare themselves to others if they didn’t get what they had expected? I just don’t get it!.. We had just received our performance rank for the last quarter of fiscal year 2011. A few days ago, it’s been a talk in our office. Everyone is a little bit excited about it because it has an equivalent performance incentive depends on your ranking. I didn’t expect anything because I don’t want to get disappointed again, just like what happened when they announced the benefits roll-out for the fiscal year 2012. One more thing, I didn’t expect anything because of what I have been through for the first quarter of FY 2011. I thought that it could have some impact on the performance ranking. Anyway, here’s the good news on my part. My supervisor congratulates me because I got a higher rank among the peer group compared last fiscal year. She was happy about it considering my warning status before. She s