my thoughts in bare

Sometimes, when you thought that you finally decided to accept things to be over, then after an instance things happened beyond our control and try to change our mind. I believe everything happens for a reason, no matter what’s the reason behind it, I don’t care anymore. All I know now is that I don’t want to deprive myself from one thing where I’ll be happy, whatever the consequence I may face from it. Compromise. I hate to compromise in everything but sometimes, you don’t have a choice if you really want something. It is as if I am giving up a part of what I really want and just accepting that fact of receiving too little of it. They say it is a mutual acceptance from both party, but how can you say it if you know that deep within each of you, neither of you gets what you want. Anyway, it’s better this way than nothing at all. Patience is a virtue. I know myself for not having a long patience. I’m always having a hard time to control my emotions, most of the time, I find myse...

Sometimes you’re leaving, sometimes you’re left, and no matter how it happened, the loss of it can bring on intense pain. After confiding to my friend what happened, it was so nice of her that I have received a piece of prayer in a paper and a compilation of advice on how to deal with it. Here are some that makes sense to me.. - getting over “ The longer you put off the end, the harder it is to stick to it and maintain your resolve, and the longer it will take to really get over it. ” The pain will hold on as long as we do. No matter how hard and painful it is, it’s on how we handle things. It’s up to us if we choose to nurture the pain and live in bitterness or think of happiness behind the cause of pain. - crying is healthy “know that it is okay to cry” but not for long. It is our way for releasing all the pain we hid inside us. I think it’s also good to remember this “Don’t cry that it’s over, smile that it happened.” - failure? “No relationship is ever a failure if you...

--> “I never saw it coming..” We all say these words whenever something bad happened in our life and when we’re having a hard time to accept things. I realized this is not true, I think we knew it from the very beginning, it’s just that we try to deny it from ourselves. Thinking and wishing that there would be a miracle that will fix everything we worry about. And if everything falls, we are trying to console ourselves by saying these words because we knew the truth all along. Most of the time, when we want something badly and though we feel that something seems wrongs about it, we still wanted to go on, I don’t know why.. Maybe because we’re hoping that at the end of the day everything will be fine. Anyway, how would we know, if we wouldn’t try?.. We’ll never know the outcome of our actions unless we tried.Who knows? In every decision we make it may get us up or down. And if everything gets worse, I don’t want to regret things that happened. Once a friend told ...

I wonder how transparent I am in front of other people around me or are they just too observant to notice me?.. I tried to act like normal and continue to do the things I have to do. I thought no one bothers to notice me but I’m wrong. This afternoon, I was told by my boss that I’m sad. He asked me if I had a fight with “him”. I didn’t manage to answer back, I just smiled at him. I thought my eyes are already dry from crying. I said I will never cry again but with just simple words from my boss made me cry. I have to turn my back from him to hide the tears. shameful.. grrrrr.. I almost say it loud to him that I didn’t have a fight with “him”, wish I had.. so I can say straight to his face how he made me feel and see his reaction. I’d rather hear it than be in silence and you don’t know what to think and feel. When you’re going through like this, have u asked yourself what is… “the most tiring thing to do? – it is to think. To think of someone who don’t even think of y...

Since you've been gone I've been lonely Longing to be with you only Maybe there still is a way I could find you and say just how I feel I can't believe that it's over Wish somehow I could have showed her All that was inside my heart ’Stead of playin' the games, you might have stayed Funny just the other night I was thinkin' And wondered if you ever think about me I call you on the phone, there's no answer CHORUS Oh, well, there's still tomorrow Oh, well, I'll try again Oh, well, maybe, just maybe Since you've been gone I've been lonely Longing to be with you only If there's a way I could beg you to stay Would you please stay with me I was thinkin' maybe I could come over Hoping we could find a way work this out Even if tonight we don't find an answer REPEAT CHORUS If I had another chance We would stand hand in hand You'd be my girl and I'd be your man Oh, well, maybe, just ma...

This time I have to pretend to everyone else that I’m okay. I don’t wanna see the disappointment and pity from their eyes, I can’t bare it anymore. I’m already hurting inside. For now, I just want them to believe that I’m happy just like few weeks ago. I feel tired. I want to go to places I’ve never been, far from here, far from people I knew so that I would never have to answer their questions what happened. I’m tired of explaining myself. Wish I could runaway from this reality but I can’t. I know this would be over soon. I’m just having a hard time to accept things, I only have good memories to remember maybe that’s why. I don’t know how would I appreciate again watching fireworks display just like I used to, for I know I will just remember those times. I tried to drive my mind to other things this past weekend but to no avail. I look fine but I know I’m not. I’ve watched three different movies at home then I went to the mall with my niece, have fun with her, bought some stuff and ...

This day was no different at all with some other days that passed here in the office. I arrived here with nothing to do for the whole afternoon except with answering some phone calls. My boss is out of the office which means there’s really nothing to do. I was feeling sleepy all day, I encourage myself to do some stuff like organizing my files just to ease the groggy feeling. When I don’t have something else to do, I started reading some e-book filed in my computer, but I didn’t manage to continue reading, it just making me feel more sleepy. Then from reading I shifted my attention to surfing in the internet, checking my facebook account and email every now and then, waiting for the response from my friend. That’s what I did the whole afternoon, I just stop during break time of course and when somebody enters our department. Now that I’m tired especially my eyes, I refrain for a little while from surfing. I ended up writing something to post here in my blog. Maybe for some ...

Forgive and forget. Could it be possible that you already forgive that person who hurt you or someone that you’re angry before but you can’t forget what he/she’d done to you? For some, it’s easily for them to forgive and forget, and then eventually they can easily hang-out again with that person. But for me, it’s not that way. When someone cause me pain or hatred, no matter how big deal it is, it’s not easy for me to forgive that person, it will take time for me to do that, and when I finally forgave that person, it’s not easy for me to go back like the old days hanging out again with them like nothing happened. Yes I can look at their eyes, and say hi but never get friends again, it will never be the same again for me. For some instance, when I have to mingle with the same circle of friends he/she is with, I can pretend that he/she does not exist in my world. A simple nod to him/her is enough reaction you can get from me. That’s me. Some of my friends can’t underst...

I’m here at the office, feeling so sleepy and not in the mood to fix my files. I tried to do some stuff and make myself busy but to no avail. Then, I decided to listen some music stored in my phone. I was listening to the song Reflection by Cristina Aguilera when suddenly I felt sad. Sometimes, we are once like this girl in the song pretending to be someone else in front of many people, making them believe that it is who we are but honestly we’re not! We are always afraid to show who we really are, afraid what people may think of you when you show what you think and feel. Afraid that they will not understand and accept you as you. Sometimes, we are pretending that were fine and happy in front of them but when the time comes that you’re all alone by yourself, you will then feel your loneliness, fear and insecurities. When will be the time that you don’t care anymore what people may think of you and that you can do whatever you want to do. Here's the song... ♫ ♪ ♫ REFLE...

I have to travel alone from Manila to Balibago, Sta.rosa Laguna. My friend and I were supposed to meet somewhere to get her things from her previous boarding house and to spend weekend with her in Laguna. But she was too sleepy that morning, since I don’t have anything to do for the weekend and everything is set, I agree to travel alone although I really don’t know the place. She just picked me up on the Balibago Bus Terminal Station. Traveling alone was not really my type, I’m always afraid to get lost.. hehehe.. a very childish manner in my age now. Anyway, travel from Manila to Balibago Sta.rosa Laguna was a very short travel, I think it was just one and a half hours travel. Although, my friend assured me that Balibago Bus Terminal Station will be the last destination and all passengers will get out of the bus the moment I’ll arrive there, and that I don’t have to worry that I might end somewhere else, still, I can’t help myself worry during the whole travel. I can’t even hav...