Skip to main content

The Middle Child


I'm the third child in the family, in between my older brother and sister, and two younger brothers next to me.

When we were young, we are often compared to my older brother though maybe not intentionally. He was the smart one, one of the favorites of the teachers, always on the top section, the one who actively participates in different extra-curricular activities in school (member of the school dance group, chess tournament, member of art club, etc.)

My older sister was a different story. She was the bubbly, more outgoing person, with many friends and I was just a shadow of her, who always follow her wherever she is because I have no one close to my age in the neighborhood when I was a kid. That's why, I know how to spend my time even when I'm alone.

My two younger brothers were the baby the of the family when they came. They were given the special attention and treatment.

Things changed when we grow up. As years go by, I've watched them as they mess up with their life and then trying to stand again. I've seen my parents in pain with every mistakes they've done. Bearing witness of it all, it made me too cautious not to make the same mistakes. I know better... I found myself feeling like I'm too young to be so serious in life and too old to just play around.

So with that, this is what I have to say...

To my siblings, 

I hope you understand when most of the time I'm acting like I'm the eldest among us.. when I'm speaking with authority like I should have the final say with everything, it's not being bossy you know.. when I'm sending text messages to all of you telling you this do's and dont's, or what we should do as a family.. it's because I think I know better and no one else among you have the courage or even initiate to say those or act like an adult.. 

I'm sorry if there are times I am too stubborn or I gets annoyed easily... you should understand that I'm not in a good mood at all times especially when the thought of some of you are too laid back and forgetting our responsibilities.. while I am too busy thinking what to do and what's best for us. 

I barely give myself a priority before anything else, it's always been our family first. So when I ask you to understand me to spare me once in a while, please understand me.. 

Please don't get me wrong..


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

lessons learned..

- not all we want is worth the risk - sometimes, we need to push ourselves too much to realize our limits - never let someone hurt you twice, if he had done it once, it's bound to happen again.. Once is enough to learn.. - giving someone a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again because no matter what he do to you you'll just accept him over and over again.. - it's not wrong to love yourself more - there's no such thing as give and take in a relationship, it's more on give, give and give..until your heart voluntarily quits. - it's true that a bastard is always a bastard! - reality is, it's not always like a fairytale. sometimes, it's just an illusion created for you to believe that there is a happy ending. - don't refuse to see the signs when it's already showing you that everything is going on the wrong direction - and most of all, somebody may leave you but true friends never will..

a friend ...

They say that misunderstandings between you and your friends strengthen the friendship. This way, you’ll both realize your mistakes and differences, and will understand each other much better than before. When we experience misunderstandings or quarrel among our friends, we think that it’s just right that the person who made the mistake should be the one who’ll apologize and make a move to reunite the friendship. That’s how we think. Pride hinders us to apologize to someone we had hurt. Sometimes we want to apologize but we don’t know how to approach them and we’re too afraid that they might just ignore us. What we don’t know is if someone really values you as a friend, we don’t know need any explanation and even a single a word is useless. Just a simple smile and hug from a friend is enough to ease all the anger and restore the friendship. This is what I learned from these past few days. Yes, it is true that the one who made the mistake should be the one who’ll apologize, but sometime...

if only..

I remember, someone asked me this, "if given a chance, what superpower do you want to have?".. back then, I answered I wish I had the power to teleport into different places in an instant, so that I would have the opportunity to travel into places I've never been anytime I want and without expenses needed. But now, I realize that's not what I want anymore. Now I wish I had the power to manipulate things that happened or could happen. If only I could turn back time and change things to make it better, I would. If only, I could foresee the future so that I would know if something bad will happen.. so that I can change it or avoid it beforehand. But this is impossible.. this is the reality, what's done is done. We can never bring back the past no matter how we want it badly. That there are some things in our life that's beyond our control. Anyway, the important thing is now. Now is the time to learn from the past and make better things. Yes, it's easy to ...