Debt of Gratitude

"Utang na Loob" or "Debt of Gratitude", a Filipino cultural trait that sometimes becoming irrational and burden emotionally.

Don't get me wrong.. Yes, I will be forever grateful to my father to whatever I am now.. I owe to him why I graduated from college. Yes, I intend to take care of them and provide their needs especially when they grow old, I intend to do it all with all my heart because I love them, but not because of an endless obligation or unlimited debt that I have to repay.

I may sound ingrate about this.. but isn't it everything a parent have provided for their children no matter how hard it takes, is just they supposed to provide as a parent? Because if not, they should not have children in the first place. And isn't it irrational for a
parent to demand from his children to repay for everything they have provided? Parents chooses to have children, which tied with an obligation since children especially the young ones does not have the capacity to live for their own. However, we, children, didn't get to choose parents, it's not our decision to make. Why then should we be accountable for what has life brought to them? Why then should we be held in debt for choices we didn't make?

Do I have to endure his endless whims, his demands and all his insecurities in life? It hurts so much when he slapped through my face everything he provided for me. And for everything that I have done for him and to our family was nothing to him, because for him I am just supposed to do it all and is not enough to repay all his hardships. Isn't it unfair when everything I have done ever since is to please him and yet all of it is nothing to him. When since I was young, all I have in mind is to give them a better life.. How much more shall I give or do for him, for me to be worthy in his eyes?..

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it's a girly thing!.. :D

When I was still working in Let's Face It, I remember I usually have my weekly manicure and pedicure for free. It's because, the training center for the salon's attendants is just located in the 2nd floor of the office. Manicure and pedicure are just one of the few benefits of pampering yourself for free as an employee there. Nowadays, I usually had my pedicure done once or twice a month in a parlor nearby our home, this time I have to pay for it. But, I don't usually have my hands to be manicured, I just don't think it's practical because the nail polish on my hands gets damaged easily. So, what I did is just have my nails in my hands manicured all by myself, that way I won't have to pay over and over again if ever I needed a nail polish retouch.Yes, I can do it. :) Today, my nails are colored by pink lilac nail polish. So love it !.. :D I am not comfortable and confident enough about having a nail polish in my hands before especially those ...

lessons learned..

- not all we want is worth the risk - sometimes, we need to push ourselves too much to realize our limits - never let someone hurt you twice, if he had done it once, it's bound to happen again.. Once is enough to learn.. - giving someone a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again because no matter what he do to you you'll just accept him over and over again.. - it's not wrong to love yourself more - there's no such thing as give and take in a relationship, it's more on give, give and give..until your heart voluntarily quits. - it's true that a bastard is always a bastard! - reality is, it's not always like a fairytale. sometimes, it's just an illusion created for you to believe that there is a happy ending. - don't refuse to see the signs when it's already showing you that everything is going on the wrong direction - and most of all, somebody may leave you but true friends never will..

we're not the lucky ones .. :)

Eat Bulaga ! It is the longest running noon time show here in the Philippines. One of the highlights of the show is the “Juan for All, All for Juan” game. It signifies unity among the Filipinos. The hosts will go to a certain barangay everyday, they will pick a winner from the entry box which contains registration forms from the residents. The lucky winner will be given some foods, products and appliances courtesy of the sponsors, and of course a big amount of money. After that, they had also like “bring me” sort of game, they will lay out numbers from 1-150, and all who wished to join the game should bring 10 plastic bottles and a specific thing that the host will ask them. The hosts will pick up a random number, the chosen number will then receive prizes. After each month, the hosts will choose 3 barangays who will win a prize as the most organized, cleanest, and well-disciplined community. The plastic bottles collected from the residents of the barangay were use to be recycle in ...

my thoughts in bare

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