Until We Meet Again

We were in and out of clinics and hospitals since October last year because of your stroke and dementia.

Last May 25, after your 74th birthday, Kuya called and asked how old you were. You answered, "Malapit na." 😥

We knew it. We knew that day was coming, but we kept pushing the thought aside.

You had your ECG last Saturday, and you were supposed to have your follow-up checkup and other laboratory tests at NCMH on Friday, June 5. But these past few days, you've been a little more unresponsive and haven't been eating well. Deep down, I had a feeling this day would come and that you wouldn't make it to Friday. Still, we pushed through with your scheduled ECG last Saturday.

For the past few weeks, you've been calling the names of your siblings, those who have already passed away and those who are still alive. You kept wondering where they were and why they hadn't come to see you since you got sick.

We never had a perfect father-daughter relationship. You were stubborn and hard to please. We had a lot of misunderstandings, and we argued more times than I'd like to admit. But I hope you knew that I showed you love and care in the best way I knew how.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to give you the life you dreamed of, but I did my best to give you a comfortable life.

I hope you also knew how grateful I am for everything you've done for us. We saw all your sacrifices, and there is no doubt that you were a good provider. You did everything you could for our family. And when you got sick, I hope you knew that we also did everything we could and gave our very best to take care of you.

Right now, it feels like I'm just floating through each day since yesterday. All I know is that I need to keep going and take care of everything for your funeral and interment.

Comments

it's a girly thing!.. :D

When I was still working in Let's Face It, I remember I usually have my weekly manicure and pedicure for free. It's because, the training center for the salon's attendants is just located in the 2nd floor of the office. Manicure and pedicure are just one of the few benefits of pampering yourself for free as an employee there. Nowadays, I usually had my pedicure done once or twice a month in a parlor nearby our home, this time I have to pay for it. But, I don't usually have my hands to be manicured, I just don't think it's practical because the nail polish on my hands gets damaged easily. So, what I did is just have my nails in my hands manicured all by myself, that way I won't have to pay over and over again if ever I needed a nail polish retouch.Yes, I can do it. :) Today, my nails are colored by pink lilac nail polish. So love it !.. :D I am not comfortable and confident enough about having a nail polish in my hands before especially those ...

lessons learned..

- not all we want is worth the risk - sometimes, we need to push ourselves too much to realize our limits - never let someone hurt you twice, if he had done it once, it's bound to happen again.. Once is enough to learn.. - giving someone a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again because no matter what he do to you you'll just accept him over and over again.. - it's not wrong to love yourself more - there's no such thing as give and take in a relationship, it's more on give, give and give..until your heart voluntarily quits. - it's true that a bastard is always a bastard! - reality is, it's not always like a fairytale. sometimes, it's just an illusion created for you to believe that there is a happy ending. - don't refuse to see the signs when it's already showing you that everything is going on the wrong direction - and most of all, somebody may leave you but true friends never will..

if not me, then who would be?..

An excerpt from the book Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen: Halley and Scarlett have been best friends ever since they met. Halley has always been the quiet one; Scarlett braver and more outgoing. Halley has always turned to Scarlett when things get rough, and Scarlett has always known just what to do. It’s the perfect set up. But everything changes at the beginning of their junior year. Scarlett’s boyfriend is killed in a motorcycle accident; then she finds out that she is carrying his baby. For the first time ever, Scarlett really needs Halley. Now Halley has to how to be strong for Scarlett. It won’t be easy, but Halley knows that she can’t let Scarlett down. Because a true friend is a promise you keep forever. ~~ This is definitely not a book review. I think I’m not good at it. I just realized while reading and after finishing it, that I can relate to the character of Halley. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t have a best friend to be called. There’s no kid in my h...

my thoughts in bare

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