There is no actual time table on when you can move forward from whatever kind of emotional pain. The wound from a fractured friendship may also fall under this things that never leave you.
I have chosen to simply avoid them for a long time because it feels like it's easier to forget the pain and more comforting that time than seeing them everyday as if nothing happened. As time passed by, I have asked myself, "I should be better by now, right?" but then I always goes back to that same feeling of hurt. I came to the point of thinking that I would never ever get over from it and maybe I already lost the friendship we had.
It took me years before finally realizing that I am really over it, that I really missed them, that I can't just throw away our years of friendship just like that only because of that jerk, and that I can't let him win of this battle by loosing my friends in return. I am not proud of the wasted time I have let passed by, but maybe I just needed it for me to fully heal.
We've gone through something really hard and I am thankful to God that He didn't let me loose my friends and I still have them until today. Sometimes, we face this kind of pain that never leaves us, it's okay.. but's it up to us how we carry the load of pain, either we let it break us or proudly wear the scars while not letting it dominate us.
In general, society expects you to act in a way what is acceptable to most of the people. No matter how hard you try to ignore the noise around you, sometimes it tends to find its way to affect how you think, you decide, you believe, and your overall values. It's been a long time, it's like I'm fighting a battle of my own. I'm trying to fight between trying to stick with what's making me happy or just live a life where it's less complicated. I'm in a phase where I'm trying to figure out what's best to do with my life. I really believe that I should not be living my life for the sake of other people. But, what if it means fighting for the rest of your life? All these dilemma that's running in my head for a while now leads me to think or do things I think is not right. Recently, I've made a terrible mistake just because once again I'm on a battle of my own, that doing so this is more acceptable than what I am on. Because traditionally, i...
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