family, career & love..

Some people say that our life revolves around in three different aspects, family, career and love. They say that we can’t get everything we want at the same time. Sometimes, we have the best of family relationship or career but we don’t have the best in love life, or vice versa.

Family

“In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit.” – Marge Kennedy

We have the greatest and unconditional love from our family. No matter what happen and how many times we stumble and fall, at the end of the day they would still accept and love us. Though many times we come across problems, we know that it would just sweep away after some time and we’ll be back again from the way we used to be with them. They are easy to please, they know how to appreciate even the small things we did for them.  

Love

“Love is the only rational act.” – Mitch Albom 

A seemingly simple word but hard to understand. It’s not a cheesy romance novel or movie we used to know. The reality of it is far beyond from that. They say that if you’re in love, you just love without thinking first of the consequences and without hoping for any assurance. Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail. There are times that you feel you’re too close to happiness but you have to let it swept away because at that moment you can no longer take the pain. At times of failure, we hope that picking up the pieces could be as simple as that. Sometimes you feel that it feels so right though it may look wrong to some. Sometimes, you’re surprised that you can do things or actions that you think you can’t do or wouldn’t do if you’re in your right mind. If after the long run, you realize that everything you do for the sake of love is wrong, will you be able say that it is just the rational act?.. Maybe yes, for that moment.

Career

“There is no security in life, only opportunity.” – Mark Twain

Most of us were after the security in life, that’s the reason why we work. We always search for a better career. Sometimes we have to leave our current job though at some point we know that we are happy being there, just because we are looking for a better opportunity. Transferring in new career means we have to face new challenges, new work environment, new nature of work and most of all new faces. Being in a new work environment is sometimes a very unpleasant feeling because we wouldn’t be with people we used to know and not all of us are good in making new friends.    

They say that we can’t have everything we want without sacrificing anything. We have to strive hard to get what we want, whichever in the matter of family, career and love.

enough is enough..

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Sometimes, no matter how we try to hold on to something, no matter what we do, it’s just not enough to make them stay longer.

I thought I can do it. I thought I can keep it longer. I thought I can endure the pain but I’m wrong. Today, I realize I finally came to the end of my limitations. I still want it but I can’t do it anymore, not when I know that I am hurting inside and everything is just an illusion.

Now my mind is clear, the truth is right here on my face. I knew it all along, it’s just hard to admit and accept it. I don’t want to live in lies anymore. I’m done believing in something which is too far from what I really want to happen. I’m tired from the deception I have created for myself. I know where I’ll be happy, but it’s hard to hold on that happiness when it’s also the one that causes my sadness.

Enough is enough.

i hope so..

I have told myself that if ever this would come, I’ll be ready but I’m wrong. Now, I feel scared and skeptical how will I do it? Will I be ready that enough to face and shoulder a much bigger responsibility?..

I truly understand my brother why he came up with his decisions and I do want nothing but happiness in him just like he wished for. I know he would never leave us, just like he said he would still help us but I also know that it wouldn’t be enough and be the same just like it used to which means a bigger responsibility on my part. For the past few weeks, my parents are being emotional especially “papa”. They’re having a hard time to accept everything, feeling more upset and frustrated of what’s going on and what would happen next. Sometimes, I feel a little irritated and upset with the constant hearing of complains from them. If only, I could just turn my back on them and just focused in my own needs but I wouldn’t, I couldn’t. I don’t have the courage to do it or more to say, I don’t have the conscience to do it. I know it’s wrong even just a mere thought of it. I don’t want to take for granted everything they’ve done to me. I owe them what I am now.

Maybe I just pray and wish that everything will be fine soon and they would finally understand and accept that things are just things. If only everything in this world is just like that “things are just things”, that you don’t need a reason to understand for whatever is happening, that it is just too easy to accept it. No more complications, no more pain. If that’s the case, maybe it would be easier for me to face this world without worrying because I know that no matter what happen they would understand. 

finally..

Career change. I have mentioned this on my previous post. Now that what I want is right here on my palm, I don’t know how will I start. I know exactly what should I do but I don’t have the courage yet to do it. I only have two weeks more to stay and do everything I have to do here at my present work. I know I have to file my resignation immediately because of short span of time I only have now but I feel a little embarrass, maybe because I have such a great respect to my immediate supervisors and boss, they’ve been so very kind to me in my whole stay here. They may feel betrayed with my actions, because of my sudden decision to leave and to think that just a few weeks ago, he told me to please stay for a little while and not to leave him abruptly. I don’t have a choice, everything that happened is beyond my control. I never imagined that it would be so fast like this. If only I could stay longer more, I will.. just like I said they’ve been so very kind to me and I have the best of colleagues here but I also have to consider some things besides of it. To some extent, I am sad of leaving and excited as well to work in a new environment. The nature of the work I may face is not a problem to me because of the fact that I already have the slight idea to it and I previously worked in that kind of industry. I hope everything goes well. As I end my career here, I am now ready to embrace again a new chapter of my life.