just a dream..

Last night, I dreamed of him once again. This is the second time I’ve dreamed of him, the last time has been so long. I didn’t think of him last night before I sleep, and it’s been so long since the last time I thought of him. I don’t know why, this dreams helps nothing but leave me confuse. What’s behind that dream? I don’t know if this would help but I managed to seek for an answer through internet, I know how ridiculous this is but I don’t have someone to talk to about this. So here it is:

According to http://www.hyperdictionary.com/dream

“Seeing an old ex-boyfriend from childhood in your dream, refers to a freer, less encumbered relationship. The dream servers to bring you back to a time where the responsibilities of adulthood (or marriage) didn't interfere with the spontaneity of romance. You need to recapture the excitement, freedom, and vitality of youth that is lacking in your present relationship. Dreaming that your ex-boyfriend is giving you advice about your current relationship, suggests that you unconscious is telling you not to repeat the same mistakes that you had made with this ex-boyfriend. Dreaming that you are being massaged by your ex-boyfriend, suggests that you need to let go of some of that defensiveness that you have been putting forth. You may have been putting up a wall or armor around you. You need to learn to trust people again. Dreaming that you ex-boyfriend gives you a stuffed animal, suggests that you are seeking for reassuring and nurturing aspects of a relationship. This is not to imply that you want you ex-boyfriend back. Alternatively, the dream could represent some immature relationship which may (or may not) describe the relationship you had with your ex. Dreaming that you see your ex-boyfriend dressed in a suit at a hospital, suggests that you have come to terms with that relationship and have completed the healing process. “

I don’t think if the other part of the meaning applies to me so I highlighted the one in red which I think could probably applies to me. Anyway, just for the information, our love story never had a closure, maybe at least for me, I don’t know for him.. As I mentioned on my previous blog, I broke up with him without telling him the truth why I made that decision. There are so many unanswered questions within me because of that break up. Some would question me why bother to think of all this, anyway it’s been so long and for the fact that I know practically that I don’t want him anymore back to my life for some reasons, that I want something more to my life which I know that I wouldn’t get if I’m with him but still, I can’t help myself but to think.

Anyway, here is my dream about:

I was with my sister buying something in a store, while waiting for the things we bought I’m also chatting with someone I didn’t know in my dream and the topic of our discussion is that I’m sharing with him my love story with my ex-boyfriend. When suddenly, he came then said these words “kung sana hinde tayo ngkahiwalay d sana hnggang ngayon tayo pa rin, ikaw kc eh”, these words hurt me so much in that dream. After that, he invite me to come with him so that we could talk, my sister let me to come with him, she said anyway we really have to talk to clear things out. We went in his friend’s house, he showed to me how his life has gone by. From there, I saw that his life has not been good. He doesn’t have a stable job and he just live with his friend. From the sight of this, I realized there that that is not the life I wanted if I was with him. Then when he was starting to talk about us, I decided to go and leave once again..

There’s something I realized this morning because of this dream, that even in dreams I’m still afraid to talk about it and one thing for sure I don’t want him anymore in my life if ever our path cross again. I cant give up my dreams in life just for him, that’s why I don’t want to think anymore whatever feelings I may still have for him.

Anyway, it’s just a dream!

goodbye for now..

I had only her as my friend and companion here in marketing department since the day I worked here. Now that she was leaving, I can’t imagine how my everyday work will be. I can’t blame her, she doesn’t feel any accomplishments working here and now, she chose to have a change in career path. I’m happy for her, at last she can make the best use of her skills and talents in art especially in fashion designing.

Maybe for the first few days of her being gone in the office will be awkward for me. Thinking that I won’t see her every morning when I arrived in the morning for the fact that she always arrives in the office earlier than me. From the moment she will be leaving, there will be no one for me to talk to whenever I’m sleepy, bored or pissed off, there will be no one to share with during lunch break and nap time. All will be different.

Of course I can endure it but surely I’ll miss her.

I remember my first day here, she was the one who taught me everything I needed to know in relation with my work. She is nice and easy to be with that’s why we get along easily. I knew it even before that this will happen, she told me about her plans of leaving here, actually, she also encourage me to also think about my career plans so that I wouldn’t be forever stuck here. She just made the right decision for herself. She is very talented to be wasted. I enjoy watching her as she work on her designs whenever it’s possible.

I know it will never be the same. I don’t know if the company will hire again for her replacement, I bet not. In spite of these, as I said I’m happy for her, I’ll just miss her. Good luck to you my friend!..

pampered for free!

There is nothing better than to pamper ourselves with just having a foot spa for free. This is one of the benefits I get for working here. Our training center is just in the 2^nd floor of the building, so whenever we want to have some manicure, pedicure, foot spa or even facial services, we don’t need to go in a salon and pay for the services we want because it is available for free. It saves me from the costly spa treatment. Last week, I decided to have a foot spa service, it’s been so long since the last time I’ve had it. It’s so relaxing, that I’m almost sleepy but unfortunately I didn’t manage to get even a short nap because I can’t control the ticklish feeling in my feet. My feet feels so soft and smooth again after the treatment.

Pampering ourselves once in a while is also a good source of stress relief. Imagine if all pampering service we want in the world is just for free. It would be awesome!.. (^_^) I don’t have to feel guilty on the money I’ll spend whenever I want to experience some little pleasures in life.

hoping for a new start..

As 2009 ends, I realized that there was something I really be thankful for the past year. There’s so much blessing I have received which I often forget to notice because of some problems.

Now at the beginning of 2010 and just got back from the long holiday vacation, I’m thinking of my plans for this year, of what to do to make things different. But up to now, I can’t think of what I really want to do. I’m so bored to death. I’m sick of this everyday routine type of my life. I don’t know why I am being like this, all I know is that I want something new, and that’s what I’m going to find out still!

I was encouraged by my friend to make new years resolution. I have never made my resolution even once because I’m afraid I will not be able to keep it. Maybe this could help a little to me if I try.

Good bye 2009 and welcome 2010 as it brings with it new hopes and opportunities to explore.