The Middle Child

I'm the third child in the family, in between my older brother and sister, and two younger brothers next to me.

When we were young, we are often compared to my older brother though maybe not intentionally. He was the smart one, one of the favorites of the teachers, always on the top section, the one who actively participates in different extra-curricular activities in school (member of the school dance group, chess tournament, member of art club, etc.)

My older sister was a different story. She was the bubbly, more outgoing person, with many friends and I was just a shadow of her, who always follow her wherever she is because I have no one close to my age in the neighborhood when I was a kid. That's why, I know how to spend my time even when I'm alone.

My two younger brothers were the baby the of the family when they came. They were given the special attention and treatment.

Things changed when we grow up. As years go by, I've watched them as they mess up with their life and then trying to stand again. I've seen my parents in pain with every mistakes they've done. Bearing witness of it all, it made me too cautious not to make the same mistakes. I know better... I found myself feeling like I'm too young to be so serious in life and too old to just play around.

So with that, this is what I have to say...

To my siblings, 

I hope you understand when most of the time I'm acting like I'm the eldest among us.. when I'm speaking with authority like I should have the final say with everything, it's not being bossy you know.. when I'm sending text messages to all of you telling you this do's and dont's, or what we should do as a family.. it's because I think I know better and no one else among you have the courage or even initiate to say those or act like an adult.. 

I'm sorry if there are times I am too stubborn or I gets annoyed easily... you should understand that I'm not in a good mood at all times especially when the thought of some of you are too laid back and forgetting our responsibilities.. while I am too busy thinking what to do and what's best for us. 

I barely give myself a priority before anything else, it's always been our family first. So when I ask you to understand me to spare me once in a while, please understand me.. 

Please don't get me wrong..

Tribute

Janet Hardy was a Hollywood legend - glamorous, brilliant and deeply troubled - and she died in mysterious circumstances at her home, Little Farm. As her granddaughter Cilla McGowan moves into the rundown farmhouse, determined to restore it to its former glory, she finds herself dreaming of the grandmother she never really knew and wondering exactly what happened in her past.

As Cilla grows ever closer to her neighbour Ford Sawyer, she slowly begins to unravel her family secrets. But someone else in the community wants Cilla to leave the past alone, and she becomes the targets of increasingly brutal acts. Together with Sawyer, she must find out who is threatening her - and what they're trying so hard to protect...

Yes, I am currently in a state of book hang over! ugh! That's the problem I have to face everytime I finished reading a book. So I figured, I should let this out of my head than staying up all night, staring at the ceiling, wondering what could've have happen if the story went long more than it was.. I wanted more.. I'm not saying I don't like how it ended, it ended so well. It's just that I wanted the details, I wanted to know what happens next after unraveling the truth behind the death of Janet Hardy. What happened to those people that caused her death, did they pay the price? I hope so, just to give her the justice she deserved and for all the emotional pain they gave to Cilla due to the brutal threats they've done to her. I wanted to know if the relationship of Cilla to her Mom got better after that. I still have a lot of questions in mind but I think I'll be a spoiler if in case someone who want to read it accidentally read my blog. Although I already did a little.. :)

Maybe it was just me being silly thinking about it when actually there is really nothing to think of, maybe once again I am so wrapped up with the book I've just finished, so does my overthinking was working..

All the while I was lost thinking who's the killer. Trying to pinpoint to all the characters who might be. I actually thought the worst, what if Ford Sawyer was involved too, trying to deceive her.. hahaha.. silly!

To Travel Alone

I've never tried traveling alone. When I was young the thought of traveling alone makes me scared, thinking if it's safe to be in an unfamiliar place and be with unfamiliar people especially if you're a girl. Nowadays, numbers of women traveling alone are growing fast. This means women today are more confident to go out from their comfort zone. Going solo in a place you've never been to is a perfect confidence booster, the fact that you have no one to rely on to but yourself. It's best way to have your ME time, a time to think, reflect and discover yourself. So with that, I'd like to try, I guess I'll start here in our local places and of course budget-friendly for me to materialize my plans. I'm planning to do it on my birthday, something opposite to the way I celebrated my birthdays before. Few months to go and I'm crossing my finger on it.. :)