The Middle Child

I'm the third child in the family, in between my older brother and sister, and two younger brothers next to me.

When we were young, we are often compared to my older brother though maybe not intentionally. He was the smart one, one of the favorites of the teachers, always on the top section, the one who actively participates in different extra-curricular activities in school (member of the school dance group, chess tournament, member of art club, etc.)

My older sister was a different story. She was the bubbly, more outgoing person, with many friends and I was just a shadow of her, who always follow her wherever she is because I have no one close to my age in the neighborhood when I was a kid. That's why, I know how to spend my time even when I'm alone.

My two younger brothers were the baby the of the family when they came. They were given the special attention and treatment.

Things changed when we grow up. As years go by, I've watched them as they mess up with their life and then trying to stand again. I've seen my parents in pain with every mistakes they've done. Bearing witness of it all, it made me too cautious not to make the same mistakes. I know better... I found myself feeling like I'm too young to be so serious in life and too old to just play around.

So with that, this is what I have to say...

To my siblings, 

I hope you understand when most of the time I'm acting like I'm the eldest among us.. when I'm speaking with authority like I should have the final say with everything, it's not being bossy you know.. when I'm sending text messages to all of you telling you this do's and dont's, or what we should do as a family.. it's because I think I know better and no one else among you have the courage or even initiate to say those or act like an adult.. 

I'm sorry if there are times I am too stubborn or I gets annoyed easily... you should understand that I'm not in a good mood at all times especially when the thought of some of you are too laid back and forgetting our responsibilities.. while I am too busy thinking what to do and what's best for us. 

I barely give myself a priority before anything else, it's always been our family first. So when I ask you to understand me to spare me once in a while, please understand me.. 

Please don't get me wrong..