Debt of Gratitude

"Utang na Loob" or "Debt of Gratitude", a Filipino cultural trait that sometimes becoming irrational and burden emotionally.

Don't get me wrong.. Yes, I will be forever grateful to my father to whatever I am now.. I owe to him why I graduated from college. Yes, I intend to take care of them and provide their needs especially when they grow old, I intend to do it all with all my heart because I love them, but not because of an endless obligation or unlimited debt that I have to repay.

I may sound ingrate about this.. but isn't it everything a parent have provided for their children no matter how hard it takes, is just they supposed to provide as a parent? Because if not, they should not have children in the first place. And isn't it irrational for a
parent to demand from his children to repay for everything they have provided? Parents chooses to have children, which tied with an obligation since children especially the young ones does not have the capacity to live for their own. However, we, children, didn't get to choose parents, it's not our decision to make. Why then should we be accountable for what has life brought to them? Why then should we be held in debt for choices we didn't make?

Do I have to endure his endless whims, his demands and all his insecurities in life? It hurts so much when he slapped through my face everything he provided for me. And for everything that I have done for him and to our family was nothing to him, because for him I am just supposed to do it all and is not enough to repay all his hardships. Isn't it unfair when everything I have done ever since is to please him and yet all of it is nothing to him. When since I was young, all I have in mind is to give them a better life.. How much more shall I give or do for him, for me to be worthy in his eyes?..