realizations..

These past few days, I’ve realized something about myself, of me being single. I realized that when I’m alone or trying to sleep at night while listening to music, and one of those songs reminds me of my ex – doesn’t mean that I’m not totally over with him or I regret something I have decided from the past and misses him, but just because I miss having someone..

Late at night, when I climb into my bed, sometimes, I get that lonely ache in my heart as I’m reminded how long it’s been since I’ve been in a relationship and to be loved. I wonder if there are also singles out there like me feeling this way. Sometimes, being single subjects you to be engaged in a very stressful emotional feeling. It never fails that there’s a friend, even family or relatives wonder aloud why up to now I don’t have a boyfriend or someone I would marry someday. Sometimes, I wonder if there is something wrong with me.. I’m not the “ms. popular girl” we used to know with lots of guys courting her - however, I don’t wish to be one. Some would say, I should find someone and I’m not getting any younger. The problem is I’m not the type of girl who’ll play the “do you like me” game or rather make the first move and express your feeling in case you have an eye with someone. Not everyone takes this approach, and I’m one of them.

I often experience a twinge of social stigmatism of being single, especially during holidays in December, January and February – an outcast.

However, being single, makes me have a strong sense of myself – to explore what I really want in my life and give importance to myself. Sometimes, these are the things we deprive from ourselves when being in a relationship. I have the most of my freedom and time to better myself. I have more time to do my hobbies and interests.

It takes me a lot of courage to post this one. As I’ve always said, I don’t like people to know what’s really inside of me and I don’t need pity from them.