an escape..

It's been a while since the last time I wrote here in my blog. Actually, I've done a lot of drafts that was supposedly to be post here but for some reason I'm not satisfied so I decided to discard all of it.

Blogging has been a part of me, especially this became a tool or shall I say an output of my emotions. It's an online journal for me, where I can burst out some of the unspoken words. One more thing about it, is that this became a means of communication between me and my friend, for us to keep updated on whatever that's happening to us.

Few days ago, I received an email from her, at the end of her email, her words triggered something inside of me, I don't know what it is, but one thing for sure she was right! She said that because I wasn't blogging regularly for few months now, it's like she's not updated with my life now though we managed to have a constant email to each other, same as me with her, since I wasn't able to read her blogs.

"nget, I'm sorry if you feel that way, I didn't intend to... "

Actually, it's not that I'm not satisfied with all the blogs I have wrote, it's all fine. You know why I decided to discard all of it?.. It's not to keep from you or with my other friend who might read it but to keep it from me. I tried to lock myself, to deny whatever I am feeling and maybe to escape from it. I refused to talk about it or even think about it because I thought it would be better that way. I can be myself like I used to, laugh and talk with my friends and other people, but I'm wrong, it just make things worst.

One more thing, I was so afraid that she would be sick of my outburst, since I have nothing to think of what to write here on my blog but all about my sentiments.. sorry..