Skip to main content

why oh why ??..


I’m tired of explaining myself. I’m not perfect. There are times that I am clumsy or dumb in some of my ways like decision-making, that it’s too late to realize that someone was hurt because of my actions when in the first place, I do not intend to hurt anybody, it just that I’m so confuse and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes, I’m so captivated with everything that’s happening around me that I tend to neglect some people because I decided to be in favor of someone else, then again they will start sulking at me.

Why is it always like that? Why is it we always have to think first and consider someone else’s feeling before doing anything? When will be time that I can do all I want or decide for anything that no one will get hurt in the end? Can’t we just do anything without hurting anybody? Why can’t I do whatever that makes me happy or things I consider to be the best, and just hope that everyone around me will be happy for me.  Am I being selfish because of this kind of thinking? Is the old saying “you can’t please everyone” applies to this?

I miss you. I miss them. I miss those people I’ve unintentionally hurt because of my actions. I’m so sad because I think I am starting to lose the person who’s been so good to me from the day I knew her. I tried to reach out but to no avail. I think I’m doing my best to reach her but I think it wasn’t enough. I’m tired of explaining. I’m tired of saying sorry, because I’m afraid saying it constantly would be non-sense and would just erase the true meaning of it. I’m afraid to be ignored forever. 

I’m so stupid! I feel so sorry for myself and for what happened. Wish I can do something to make it right. :((

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

lessons learned..

- not all we want is worth the risk - sometimes, we need to push ourselves too much to realize our limits - never let someone hurt you twice, if he had done it once, it's bound to happen again.. Once is enough to learn.. - giving someone a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again because no matter what he do to you you'll just accept him over and over again.. - it's not wrong to love yourself more - there's no such thing as give and take in a relationship, it's more on give, give and give..until your heart voluntarily quits. - it's true that a bastard is always a bastard! - reality is, it's not always like a fairytale. sometimes, it's just an illusion created for you to believe that there is a happy ending. - don't refuse to see the signs when it's already showing you that everything is going on the wrong direction - and most of all, somebody may leave you but true friends never will..
Post a Comment
Read more

Random Thoughts

In general, society expects you to act in a way what is acceptable to most of the people. No matter how hard you try to ignore the noise around you, sometimes it tends to find its way to affect how you think, you decide, you believe, and your overall values.  It's been a long time, it's like I'm fighting a battle of my own. I'm trying to fight between trying to stick with what's making me happy or just live a life where it's less complicated.  I'm in a phase where I'm trying to figure out what's best to do with my life. I really believe that I should not be living my life for the sake of other people. But, what if it means fighting for the rest of your life? All these dilemma that's running in my head for a while now leads me to think or do things I think is not right.  Recently, I've made a terrible mistake just because once again I'm on a battle of my own, that doing so this is more acceptable than what I am on. Because traditionally, i...
Post a Comment
Read more

if only..

I remember, someone asked me this, "if given a chance, what superpower do you want to have?".. back then, I answered I wish I had the power to teleport into different places in an instant, so that I would have the opportunity to travel into places I've never been anytime I want and without expenses needed. But now, I realize that's not what I want anymore. Now I wish I had the power to manipulate things that happened or could happen. If only I could turn back time and change things to make it better, I would. If only, I could foresee the future so that I would know if something bad will happen.. so that I can change it or avoid it beforehand. But this is impossible.. this is the reality, what's done is done. We can never bring back the past no matter how we want it badly. That there are some things in our life that's beyond our control. Anyway, the important thing is now. Now is the time to learn from the past and make better things. Yes, it's easy to ...
Post a Comment
Read more