Between Remembering and Loosing

Watching your father slowly lose pieces of his mind is a different kind of heartbreak. You’re torn between holding on tightly to keep him safe and wanting to let him wander freely — even if it scares you — just to give him a sense of peace, or to momentarily silence the chaos in both of you. Some days, exhaustion whispers, what if I just let go and stop caring? What if I allow myself to feel nothing for once? What if I stop fighting so hard, stop worrying every minute, stop carrying the weight of what might happen?

It feels like you’re constantly pulling a rope back and forth — duty on one end, helplessness on the other. You endure, you adjust, you try again. And in the quiet moments, you ask yourself how long this season will last… and how much more our heart can carry.

Comments

it's a girly thing!.. :D

When I was still working in Let's Face It, I remember I usually have my weekly manicure and pedicure for free. It's because, the training center for the salon's attendants is just located in the 2nd floor of the office. Manicure and pedicure are just one of the few benefits of pampering yourself for free as an employee there. Nowadays, I usually had my pedicure done once or twice a month in a parlor nearby our home, this time I have to pay for it. But, I don't usually have my hands to be manicured, I just don't think it's practical because the nail polish on my hands gets damaged easily. So, what I did is just have my nails in my hands manicured all by myself, that way I won't have to pay over and over again if ever I needed a nail polish retouch.Yes, I can do it. :) Today, my nails are colored by pink lilac nail polish. So love it !.. :D I am not comfortable and confident enough about having a nail polish in my hands before especially those ...

lessons learned..

- not all we want is worth the risk - sometimes, we need to push ourselves too much to realize our limits - never let someone hurt you twice, if he had done it once, it's bound to happen again.. Once is enough to learn.. - giving someone a second chance is exposing yourself to be hurt again because no matter what he do to you you'll just accept him over and over again.. - it's not wrong to love yourself more - there's no such thing as give and take in a relationship, it's more on give, give and give..until your heart voluntarily quits. - it's true that a bastard is always a bastard! - reality is, it's not always like a fairytale. sometimes, it's just an illusion created for you to believe that there is a happy ending. - don't refuse to see the signs when it's already showing you that everything is going on the wrong direction - and most of all, somebody may leave you but true friends never will..

if not me, then who would be?..

An excerpt from the book Someone Like You by Sarah Dessen: Halley and Scarlett have been best friends ever since they met. Halley has always been the quiet one; Scarlett braver and more outgoing. Halley has always turned to Scarlett when things get rough, and Scarlett has always known just what to do. It’s the perfect set up. But everything changes at the beginning of their junior year. Scarlett’s boyfriend is killed in a motorcycle accident; then she finds out that she is carrying his baby. For the first time ever, Scarlett really needs Halley. Now Halley has to how to be strong for Scarlett. It won’t be easy, but Halley knows that she can’t let Scarlett down. Because a true friend is a promise you keep forever. ~~ This is definitely not a book review. I think I’m not good at it. I just realized while reading and after finishing it, that I can relate to the character of Halley. I remember when I was a kid, I don’t have a best friend to be called. There’s no kid in my h...

my thoughts in bare

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