Wish I could let go just like that..

If only I could do it in just snap or just after reading any article about letting go of resentment, then I'll be very, very happy.. really!

No one wants to be a slave of any negative feelings towards other. Our emotions is something beyond our control. We can't force ourselves into something we're not ready yet or shall I say into something our hearts doesn't want to. No matter what other people say or how much we knew how to, we'll never be able to overcome it until ourselves do it willingly on it's own. As the old saying goes, "time heals all wounds." So I guess, I'd rely on that..

I don't know if what I'm doing is right but all I know is, this is what I need right now. I just know that I need to distance myself, so I won't be stressing myself everytime we meet, so I don't need to pretend like nothing is wrong.. I'm so done in pretending.. I need some peace of mind for a while.. though, I don't know how long would it take. I just hope time will come I'll be ready to face them again with all my heart.

I don't know either if what I thought or believed is right. I'm not sure if everything I'm doing now is worth it, or will it fix everything..

I know it's possible that it maybe too late to save what we had before, the time I am free from all these resentments I am feeling now. Maybe now I am blaming certain people why it happened and why I am feeling this.. but maybe someday I'll be blaming myself for letting it happen and for giving up the friendship we had. It's what I have to risk.

Maybe I care too much that's why I got hurt this much... Maybe I should try harder but I chose to give up and cut you out of my life. I'm sorry... :(