sad truth..

How many sleepless nights will I have to survive?..

How many times will I be waking up in the middle of my sleep with thoughts of him?..

Reminiscing back old memories is non-sense.. Through this, I'm just letting the pain remain inside of me. But what can I do if this is just the only way I can be with him again even for a while?.. If this is just the only way I can be happy for some point?.. Even if this is far from reality now.

Am I hearing myself right?.. I know I sound stupid, I don't care, this is how I feel.. It doesn't matter..

It hurts to leave someone even if u want to stay because u just need to.. But what hurts most is the fact that, that person made u feel loved, made u believed he loved you, but the truth is he never really did. What sad about this is that despite of that you can't stop loving that person and hoping that he'll be back in your life again even though you know that is really impossible..

Decision has been made and I can never bring it back, I never will.. but if I will be given a chance to change things and make it happen my way, I'll do it. But I guess, I need a great miracle or magic just for it. So maybe, I have to accept that sometimes there's just no happy endings.

Sometimes, goodbye is necessary. That's the hardest thing to do because deep within you, you know you don't want to do it but you have to.

They say that we don't really move on, there's no such thing like moving on, we just get used to the pain.. that we don't mind at all the pain anymore. If that's the case, when will I be used to the pain, to what happened? How long will I be like this?..