bitter or what ?!..

Why does people can’t just be happy with other people’s achievements? Why they have to compare themselves to others if they didn’t get what they had expected? I just don’t get it!..

We had just received our performance rank for the last quarter of fiscal year 2011. A few days ago, it’s been a talk in our office. Everyone is a little bit excited about it because it has an equivalent performance incentive depends on your ranking. I didn’t expect anything because I don’t want to get disappointed again, just like what happened when they announced the benefits roll-out for the fiscal year 2012. One more thing, I didn’t expect anything because of what I have been through for the first quarter of FY 2011. I thought that it could have some impact on the performance ranking.

Anyway, here’s the good news on my part. My supervisor congratulates me because I got a higher rank among the peer group compared last fiscal year. She was happy about it considering my warning status before. She said she saw my great improvements and how I took it positively. She told me to maintain it and strive harder to explore other opportunities and level up.

Then, this is the worst part of receiving the good news, not everyone is happy about it. Some are disappointed because they didn’t get what they had expected; one of them is a friend of mine. She was upset after receiving her performance rank, she got a lower rank, maybe she expected too much. But, she became more upset after knowing my performance rank. I felt it.. I knew it, based on her reactions. I was a little bit offended the way she reacted and the words she said a while ago. She keeps on complaining why does she got the lower rank compared to mine. Although she didn’t told me directly, it’s like I don’t deserved it more than she deserves to be in my performance rank. It’s like I don’t have the ability to excel like others. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it so I just shrugged it off. What I did is, I just sympathized with her. Maybe, she doesn’t mean to offend me that way, maybe because she just carried away with disappointment she’s feeling a while ago. I don’t know ...

Why can’t she just be happy with what I received?... considering that I'm her friend. I deserved it, more than anyone else. I worked hard for it. No one has the right to tell me or try to insinuate in any way that I don’t deserved it.

This is my time, so as they had theirs. When they received the good news regarding the benefits roll-out for FY 2012 and I didn’t got mine, did I complain to them? Did I compare myself to them, on how they performed? Did I ask them to sympathize with me when they’re all happy and I’m upset then? NO, because even if I didn’t get what I wanted before just like them, I know my worth and my capacity. So, I waited and instead, continue what I have started.