Since the day I learned making friends, I really believed that I am very good in treasuring and giving importance to friendship. Everyone who knew me how emotional I get when it comes to my friends. Until today, I still have communications from my elementary friends, high school friends, college friends and even those who I worked with from my previous jobs. I always enjoyed chatting with them and spending time with them once in a while especially now that we’re all grown up and busy with our own lives.
But what happens next when too much conflict happened between you and some of your friends and you’re all fed up? We’ve tried to fix things but for some reason we’re not like the same one just like before. Now it seems like we’re drifting apart from each other. Although, there are times we missed the old days, yet we can’t bring it back the way it used to be and we’re now like different persons who can’t stand each other’s company. That’s the sad part of it.
Although they don’t tell me this straight to
my face, I know and I can feel that there are times that they are disappointed,
feeling sorry and annoyed with how we become after almost three years and how I
treat them. Every time we tried to spend time with each other like the old days,
we never talked about it, we choose to keep it aside silently and pretend like
there’s nothing wrong.
These past few months I started being
skeptical about me if I’m still capable of treasuring friendship. How easy for
me to just keep them aside and disregard them, choosing others than be with
them to the point of making alibis and lies. I don’t understand myself anymore.
I’m sad and feeling guilty with treating them just like an old acquaintance but
I’m not doing something about it. It’s like I’m contented with just a smile and
nod or a quick chat with them every time I saw them in the hallway, thinking it’s
better that way.
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