insights..

Sometimes you’re leaving, sometimes you’re left, and no matter how it happened, the loss of it can bring on intense pain.

After confiding to my friend what happened, it was so nice of her that I have received a piece of prayer in a paper and a compilation of advice on how to deal with it. Here are some that makes sense to me..

- getting over
“The longer you put off the end, the harder it is to stick to it and maintain your resolve, and the longer it will take to really get over it.” The pain will hold on as long as we do. No matter how hard and painful it is, it’s on how we handle things. It’s up to us if we choose to nurture the pain and live in bitterness or think of happiness behind the cause of pain.

- crying is healthy
“know that it is okay to cry” but not for long. It is our way for releasing all the pain we hid inside us. I think it’s also good to remember this “Don’t cry that it’s over, smile that it happened.”

- failure?
“No relationship is ever a failure if you manage to learn something about yourself from having gone through it all with your heart open to both joy and pain.” Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it wasn’t a necessary part of our journey to becoming who we meant to be. We should always think of lessons we learned to enrich our lives in every events that happened in our life. We should always remember that everything happens for a reason, no matter what it is. Actually, I am guilty about this, these past few weeks I thought that I am once again a failure.

- Be proud
“Realize that although it’s over, your relationship with that person was unique and special in a lot of ways. You can congratulate yourself for being brave enough to take a risk and fall in love.” From the very start, I accepted the fact that I have to risk if I want things to happen. Still, I’m glad that I chose to risk though it didn’t happen the way I wanted. If ever we can turn back time, I think I would still choose to do it again.

- Keep your dignity
“Taking the hard road may be hard now, but you’ll be glad later that you didn’t stoop to the gutter, even though you could have.” My friend told me that she’s proud of me besides what happened because I finally realized that I have to stop now or else I’ll end up feeling more miserable. I almost step down from my dignity; I made my part, making extra efforts though I know he wouldn’t bother to do anything in return. Now, I’m done to it, I finally decided to stop before I might undermine my self-confidence and shake my self-esteem to the core. And I don’t want it to happen, I wanted to keep my dignity, that’s all I’ve got now.

- Having an outlet
“Write all your feelings down.” The important thing is to be absolutely honest to yourself. Right, I am trying to be honest to myself. At first, I am having a second thought about it, thinking that the reader might feel tired reading about my sentiments but I realized, anyway I am writing all of this not because it is for them but for myself. Writing down on how I feel doesn’t mean I have to send it through him, it’s just a way of releasing the pain. I guess it’s right. Sometimes, we will be amazed by the insights we made as we pour it all in writing.

When we are going through this kind of pain, we always ask ourselves the reason why it happened. We even seek an advice from a friend, hoping they can provide answers for us. Sometimes we already know the answers to our questions, it’s just too painful for us to admit it to ourselves and we need to hear it from them just to wake ourselves from the illusion we made for us.